A Spiritual Battle in the Heart of Seoul: Finding Silence After Confession
To write well, one must read well. Lately, I’ve felt a certain void in my reading. I feel a deep yearning to read more diligently and write more consistently.
Writing, I believe, is the ultimate method of learning. It is only through the act of writing that we truly grasp what we know—and more importantly, what we don’t. Until thoughts are put into words, they remain in a nebulous state. Writing is the mirror that reveals the boundaries of my own understanding.
Today, I want to reflect on two specific themes: the moments when Jesus was present with me, and the moments when the enemy tried to tempt me. I understand that each of us is a battlefield of intense spiritual warfare—a constant tug-of-war between the Holy Spirit and evil spirits, each seeking to lead us toward Heaven or Hell. Keeping a vigilant eye on both grace and temptation is essential for spiritual survival.
The Presence of Jesus The moment I felt Jesus most vividly today was during my morning journaling. As I wrote to Him as if I were writing a letter, I felt a profound sense that He was truly listening. I felt His presence right beside me. Perhaps it was due to that morning grace that I was able to make a sincere confession later this afternoon at the standing confessional of Myeong-dong Cathedral. It was a precious time that allowed me to draw even closer to Him.
The Moment of Temptation: A Letter from Screwtape The temptation came in a small, recurring moment—the slump after returning home. When the workday ends and I return home exhausted, there is a dangerous tendency to simply "wither away" into mindless habits. If Screwtape were advising a junior devil about me, I imagine he would say something like this:
"My dear Wormwood,
Do not be discouraged even if the patient spent his day close to the Enemy (Jesus). Humans possess a peculiar vulnerability. This particular human, I’ve noticed, is at his weakest the moment he returns home alone after a long day.
Use that window of time wisely. Ensure that he does not turn to the Enemy for strength. Keep him distracted even before he steps through his front door. Anything will do—even 'religious content' is acceptable if it serves our purpose. The priority is to prevent him from dwelling in silence or acknowledging his fatigue with a peaceful heart. If you can keep his mind scattered and overstimulated until he enters his house, we have a thousand ways to help him waste hours on end. Remember this, and execute it well."
My Resolution What I truly desire is to cultivate more silence. I want to intentionally reduce my content consumption before I arrive home, allowing a sense of stillness to take root. My goal is to carry that silence across the threshold and sustain it throughout the evening. I want to see if I can stay in that peace, even after the world's noise has faded.